I believe that God has a unique identity, an authentic DNA, for each one of us.
You see, we really are like fingerprints –
no two alike, no two designed the same. Each one of us is a product of God’s perfect, exquisite creativity –
a purposeful, elegant design that is attached to a distinctive calling and destiny.
How do I know this? Because He told me so!
I mean, not in so many words, but he told me so… in His Word, and in the still small voice inside me that resonates with His truth.
At a time in my life where I didn’t know who I was, how I was going to move forward
or how I was going to be anything more than the sum of my parts, God spoke to my heart
and challenged all the chains that had been fastened onto me by the world.
He showed me the truth of my birth – that though I wasn’t planned by my parents, HE had planned my existence LONG BEFORE my parents chose that path. When He spoke my life into existence, He saw the plan and the patterns, He saw the paths and the pitfalls, the mountains and the valleys – He wired me, designed me, fashioned and defined me to be the exact person he needed.
He made me with a purpose – and He called me up into my identity as a compassionate teacher, healer, and chain-breaker.
“For He has anointed me to bring the good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted,
and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be set free!” Isaiah 61:1
But it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t fast.
For many years, I sought my identity in the eyes of others - in their approval, in who they thought I should be.
I thought that if only I was smarter, skinnier, blonder, tanner, taller, quieter or prettier, I would be who I was supposed to be!
I sought my worth in achievement, knowledge, entertainment, and religious rituals – I was a ‘good girl’, an overly willing volunteer,
a super-mom.
If I was busy, I was doing it right.
If I was doing it all, I was accepted.
If I was wonder woman, everyone was happy – everyone but me.
And then, one day….one beautiful, terrifying day, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I had raised my kids, loved my husband, led in church and had no idea who I was.
That’s when God gently took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye and asked if I was ready to hear His identity for me.
I was broken…
Hadn’t I always been walking in who he made me?
Hadn’t I served in my giftings and seen many encouraged, uplifted, saved because of who He made me?
Yes, yes I had.
But this was something deeper.
This identity had everything to do with how I saw myself – through His eyes – and NOT how I was seen in others’ eyes.
Because when I saw myself through His eyes,
I realized that I was precious!
Not in a prideful way, but in a beautiful, cherished and fully loved way.
HE LOVED ME
not for what I had done, but just for who He made me to be!
Flaws and mistakes and sins aside – HE LOVED ME!!
That revelation, that perfect moment of clarity, began a journey toward a deeper understand of His design for me
and for each person I’ve ever locked eyes with.
He used many things to lead me on this journey of discovery – intensive crisis training classes, betrayal and wounding in the church, uplifting chaplain courses, heart-healing ministries, painful relationships, anointed speakers and trustworthy, faith-filled friends. And through it all, he showed me His heart for me, His care of me, His identity for me.
Am I perfectly free yet? Nope.
But I’m progressing along on the journey and I am passionate about helping other people find that path too.